Reconstructionists

By Michael Hartnett

The GAA decided

the time had come to explain

to very puzzled tourists

the rules of the Hurling Game.

So, as things are quiet in winter,

their decision was to ask

the lads from the Office of Public Works

to help them with their task –

to build an Interpretive Centre;

to unbaffle Icelanders,

Dutchmen, Danes and Turks,

to educate visitors

and not leave them in the dark,

and to site this latest venture –

where else, but in Croke Park!

The day came for unveiling

and there in snow-white ranks

stood shining sheds of limestone,

with Celtic septic tanks

to service all the toilets

with their sparkling tiles and taps;

and there was a lecture room

hung with very detailed maps

to point the way to Thurles

for Libyans, Letts and Lapps;

and a foyer aglow like the Book of Kells

with an undecipherable graph

that’s explained the whole year ‘round

by the full-time staff

of two.  And for all the lovely money

a Foreign Currency Exchange

clad in gleaming quartz-stone

left over from Newgrange.

And a genuine Irish siopa té

with genuine soda bread

made brown with genuine turf dust

to sink in your belly like lead

(one slice of that and, d’you know what,

you’ll swear that you’ve been fed!).

The Fathers of the Nation

rejoiced and they were glad

(the Mother of the Nation

Was somewhere west of Chad);

but none of these wise leaders

had foreseen the tiny hitch –

the lads from the Office of Public Works

had built their Temple of Plumbing

in the middle of the pitch!

Note:

This poem, despite its rather enigmatic and unwieldy title, hides a gem of satire underneath!  In the poem, Hartnett foresees the building of the Croke Park Museum, which eventually opened its doors to the public in September 1998, just before the poet’s untimely passing in October 1999.  In typical Hartnett fashion, he never misses an opportunity to take a wry, satirical sideswipe at the Government and, in this case, its Office of Public Works.  Little did he realise that a quarter of a century later, the line Minister for the Office of Public Works would be fellow Newcastle West native, Minister Patrick O’Donovan, whose family once lived next door to Hartnett in Assumpta Park!

Needless to say, today, the  Croke Park Museum is a state-of-the-art building and a mecca for locals and tourists alike from diverse locations, including Iceland, Lapland, the Netherlands, Denmark, and Turkey!  It is a celebration of the history, development and heritage of Gaelic games and the GAA itself.  It houses artefacts related to the Association’s foundation and its most famous players. The museum is home to the original Sam Maguire and Liam MacCarthy Cups.

By the way, his phrase ‘the Mother of the Nation’ is a reference to Mary Robinson, an Irish politician who served as President of Ireland from December 1990 to September 1997.  She was this country’s first female President.  She has since gone on to work with distinction as an Elder, and she continues to campaign globally on issues of civil rights and climate change.

References

Hartnett, Michael. A Book of Strays, edited by Peter Fallon, Gallery Press, 2002 (reprinted 2015).